Miss Blogging

I miss writing in my blog, I need to do it more often. It is a way of sorting out my thoughts and feelings that I am having  trouble dealing with in my head and sometimes writing them out helps. Hopefully, I will have time to blog again in the future.  Until then know that I am well, halfway sane and still medicated, lol.

Too Much Stress

I thought that with the new medication I am on that I would be able to tolerate changes in my life, I suppose that theory might have held true if so many changes hadn't happened at once.  I had a minor nervous breakdown, and I basically spent three days drunk, high, or both.  It was just marijuana so don't get so excited over my drug use.  The anxiety meds were prescribed to me and I managed to make three pills last three days.  Sure you aren't supposed to drink with them but as I said I was having a breakdown. 

I won't go into details, lets just say that starting a new job, having relationship problems and possibly not having a place to live just about did me in, not to mention this all happened two days after my birthday and only four days into my new job.  The therapist called it the perfect storm of stress.  Simply too much at once and I simply folded inward.  I kept my job, which in the past I might not have been able too, and the other problems sorta fixed themselves, but I am still not certain as to how it will all end up. 

My doctor upped my medication, but other than that was not much help.  I just wish that I would not be faced with so much stress at once.  It is hard enough for me to deal with day to day life, but add all the other stressful situations into the mix and it makes me want to just check myself into the looney bin.  Hey, they serve bacon nearly everyday, lol. 

Gaslighting the Mentally Unstable?

I sat here perusing my Facebook page when I came across an article about  Why Women Aren't Crazy, and it's basically people (cough cough, men) gaslighting women.  To better understand what I am talking about you must first understand the term gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory, perception and sanity.  (Full Article on wiki Here)
I will mainly talk about the comments men make that pertain to the relationship, you know the ones that make our minds go into overtime with jealousy, paranoia, worry, the list could go on.

All women have been a victim of gaslighting a few times in their life, I know I myself have, the difference is I have  several issues with my mental stability in the first place.  I have been diagnosed with Bi Polar I, and more recently PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).  Paranoia is one of my worst symptoms, along with uncontrollable anger, and general mistrust of people.

Porn...

Porn is out there on the internet, and I am sure most people have watched it at least once, unless of course you are a God fearing person who thinks porn is Evil, or you think its degrading to women.

There are lots of ways porn can be viewed and even read, such as DVD, Internet, or written Erotica.

How do we feel about our better halves watching it?  Is it something you hate?  Maybe, you don't mind a bit if they watch porn, maybe you watch it together.

Please leave comments in the Facebook comment section.  Thanks. 

Medications Are Working

It seems the medications the doc has me on might actually be working.  After a year plus some, the meds or combination there of seem to be actually doing what they are supposed to be doing after all.  Thank goodness.

  I am going through a depressive phase as of late, but its not nearly as bad as they were in the past. I can still seem to function even though I do not want to do much of anything, I am still quite able if I get a bug up my ass to do so. For this I am very thankful.  It's much better than sitting in my empty apartment and crying over spilled milk so to speak.