April 12, 2015

I Am Sorry

I am sorry that I have not been posting more posts, I only have internet on my phone at the present time and it is proving a little hard to write on my blog using a phone.

Life is crazy as always and so am I. I didn't realize how much I had really gone off my meds until I went to refill them and saw that I had been working on the same thirty day supply for three months.  Oops. Well my asshole doctor (whom I have since quit seeing) said that I could lower my dose if I wanted to.  I think I have simply been working too much to have time to go crazy. I have noticed it lately though, crying in the shower so no one can see and if my eyes are red it's the soap that got into them.  Although I think I am now a pro at crying quietly to myself.  Damn now my eyes are watering because I just rubbed them with leftover salt from tortilla chips or salsa that I just ate. Holy Hell that burns, I don't recommend that.

Onto the rest of my life. I am still in purgatory. Still loving someone who is either incapable of loving me or just incapable of showing it. Sometimes I think he might, while other times I don't even know if he is aware that I am around. As I said purgatory.

Maybe if I go back on my full dose of meds I will see things the way they are and have the strength to move on, as of now I don't.  I have to find a new doctor, one who listens and actually believes what he practices, which I don't think my last one did.

Well on a good note it seems having to use my phone to blog might be faster than typing on a keyboard since it has word suggestions. It pretty much tells me what to say next.  Maybe that will be my next blog post, a completely suggested blog post using only suggested words, you never know it might be fun. Well till next time, stay crazy, be yourself because that is all you can be.

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