Random Ramblings

Oh, lets just see what could possibly be coming up from the depths inside Deathfairy/Heather's mind today.

It's sunny and warm today, and as much as I would like to go outside and work on the garden, I just don't seem to be able to drag up the energy to.

I am back on full doses of all my medications. So basically I am going to be poisoning myself for the next week or so until my body says that it can deal with that amount of poison. I guess it all comes down to making choices. Choice one is go back to being an emotional nutcase stuck on a roller-coaster of monstrous size, and choice two being I get to be an emotional nutcase stuck on a kiddie sized roller-coaster. I think I will choose choice two. That being said I know what the monster size coaster was like and have yet to ride the kiddie sized one.

Speaking of roller-coasters, may I just say how utterly pissed I am that I no longer can ride them, due to a herniated disc.

I recently found out I am normal. Okay, so it's not normal in what society calls normal and I must thank my lucky stars for that as it seems to be really boring being normal. I am normal in the Bi-polar world. It's odd to sit there and tell someone about your sex life, drinking habits, piercing habits, and the basic wackiness that to others in the past have made them ask me if I was on drugs, and after having said all this have them tell you that it is “text book” bi polar symptoms. What am I a bunch of pages that have been copied and stapled together, then bound as a book labeled “Heather's Life” with a note at the beginning that says this book is all about Heather, please enjoy reading? Well, enough about that and on to the next thoughts on my mind.

Oh, my god it's blank. They must have taken my thoughts and put them in that text book they were talking about and left me nothing. Those bastards. Give me a minute to plan the break in to steal them back. Okay, I found them they were lost in medication land and were hard to locate but they are back safe, not sound, but safe.

Have you ever just lost something and can't figure out for the life of you where or how it went anywhere. No, I don't mean my mind, it only goes on short vacations. I am talking about items. Then on the other hand you find items you think you no longer had. What if there are little creatures who switch them around. Not in the literal sense, well maybe, but not really, well who knows it could be possible right? What I mean is you miss an item, but you find another while looking for the one you were trying to find. Of course once you start digging through things you usually forget what you were looking for and then just start looking at all the neat things you forgot you even had.

Wow, one does tend to ramble on about much of nothing.

Thoughts that go through my mind

if only you looked you might not know

there are so many random things to find

moving so fast wondering where they will go

thoughts that go through my mind

traveling so swift and free

sometimes they are sweet and kind

with others going another path that even scares me

thoughts that go through my mind

some I let go and some I keep

I am sometimes afraid of what I might find

if you only knew them all you too might weep