January 15, 2015

It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin...

I went through a slightly mad period. When I say mad I don't mean angry, I mean crazy, wacko, bonkers, well you get it.

I haven't been on my meds like I should, yeah, I know I am  bad girl.

So the other day we were watching a show about the whole UFO-alien structures on the moon thing. I do not watch conspiracy type shows as a rule because they tend to get me all wound up. Well, when I start to get riled  up,  in other words anxious, I start noticing smells, well not noticing so much as I start to worry about smells. My first line of defense when this happens is chewing gum.
it helps me relax a little, I sometimes chew gum. I sometimes chew gum when going to bed. I go through several anxiety caused rituals like this.  Often I will put deodorant on, lotion, spray perfume, shower, wash my hands, or brush my teeth. Needless to say I worry about smell.
Well after watching this show caused my anxiety to go up I went straight for the lotion, and started to rub it on my arms, thinking the whole time how many times I had done this before. I did it every hour while in the mental hospital. The thought that what I was doing and why I was doing it made me start to laugh. Because you have to admit it is kinda crazy, sitting there laughing while rubbing lotion on my skin because of a tv show which only made me think of the movie Silence of the Lambs.  So basically the only thoughts in my head were "I am mad" and "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again".
Ok, so this whole story might not make much sense to anyone else, but then I write this down for me. Also, I never claimed to be sane, normal, or a cookie cutter.

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