August 1, 2017

Am I Really That Crazy?

So, I was sitting on the computer and my boyfriend was sitting on the couch eating a taco.

I was making a Facebook comment about how sometimes when I see something that is hard to do or a thing that used to be a lot harder to do in the past, I hear a little elderly voice in my head.
You know, a little voice that goes, "Back in our day we used to hike two miles in the snow just to get to school." type of voice.  The little old lady voice that sounds strangely like my grandmother going, "We didn't have vacuums in my day, we swept the floor with a broom made of tied together willow branches." She is always a little out there. The voice, not my grandmother.

Well, I start kinda laughing to myself, thinking that these voices aren't really voices yet they are kinda real to me, my conscious if you will. My own personal Jiminy Crickets of old timer wisdom and youngster shaming. Shaming me into getting off my ass and do something, because now its a whole lot easier in ways than it used to be.

Us youngsters do not know how easy we have it. Well, thats what she keeps telling me anyways.

Back to where I was. I keep rambling. I am laughing to myself and my boyfriend asks what I am laughing about. I tell him that I am simply having a conversation with the old people voices in my head.

He takes a bite of his taco. No response, no questioning look. He takes a bite of his taco.

I laugh even harder now, because apparently its no longer any surprise to him that I talk to people in my head. This kind of statement no longer even warrants a raised eyebrow. This is hilarious. At least to me. I feel as if I have let my crazy out one to many times and so now people know.
I laugh even louder now because this is just so ludicrous that a taco is more important than the fact that I am laughing at the voices in my head.

His next question stuns me though. A simple calmly asked question has me almost rolling on the floor, tears are actually running down my cheeks. He asks, "Do you need to go to the mental hospital?"
Not sarcastically? Not as a joke? Not as a rhetorical question? Not as in "Are you ok?" type way.
He asked in an, "Are you crazy?" "Do I need to commit you to the psych ward?" kind of way.

I have spent time in a mental facility. I do have mental issues. Apparently I need to go back on my medication. At least thats what they keep saying.

back to top