Just a Dream

In my mind is a world that doesn't match up with the world outside
in a dream my waiting was worth it, my love meant something
It was just a dream,
I wake up alone, forced to wake up
forced to face reality

Years wasted, waiting.  I am happier now
I do not have to wait anymore
I am free to move on, to dream once more.
Isn't life just a dream, moving through our minds
trying to figure out which is reality

In my next life I don't want to simply dream
I want to live, love and dream together
I want  a dream that comes true, I want to love
Love that is no longer just a dream. 

Random Ramblings

Oh, lets just see what could possibly be coming up from the depths inside Deathfairy/Heather's mind today.

It's sunny and warm today, and as much as I would like to go outside and work on the garden, I just don't seem to be able to drag up the energy to.

I am back on full doses of all my medications. So basically I am going to be poisoning myself for the next week or so until my body says that it can deal with that amount of poison. I guess it all comes down to making choices. Choice one is go back to being an emotional nutcase stuck on a roller-coaster of monstrous size, and choice two being I get to be an emotional nutcase stuck on a kiddie sized roller-coaster. I think I will choose choice two. That being said I know what the monster size coaster was like and have yet to ride the kiddie sized one.

To My Little Fairy Angel.

I see in her my Angel, the one I love,
Sent to me from up above;
To watch me, to hold me when I’m sad,
To touch me, and to laugh with me when I’m glad.

Someone

All I want is to be kissed
and when I am not there to know I am missed
Soft lips pressed against my forehead
a warm body next to me in bed

Just Me

I sit alone and wonder,
is the laughter I hear aimed at me
or is just the sound of people having fun
Is it normal to feel so alone
surrounded by so many people

Swallowed By Darkness

I am being swallowed by the darkness again.

It's pretty bad this time, I just want to lay in bed and never face reality again. I think thats why the darkness comes, because even the darkness is brighter than my reality. I hate these times, but yet I embrace them, because I feel numb and at least the darkness blocks out everything else. Sometimes I look for the light that I know is shining somewhere in this black nothing. I wonder if one day I just will simply just quit searching and let the darkness stay and consume me. Sometimes I hope for it, long for it, wish for it.